Breaking! Shamed ESPN Sportscaster Britt McHenry Gets Porn Video Offer!

Britt Mchenry 1

Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes, and this old adage was proven recently with ESPN sports announcer Britt McHenry’s hideously ugly display of disrespect she showed someone who she felt was beneath her due to the woman’s employment. McHenry’s egotistical tirade has gone viral and she’s since been suspended, though many believe she’ll inevitably be fired.

So, what will little Miss Hot To Trot do after losing that big paycheck? Well, she obviously feels that working in parking garages or for towing companies is beneath her, because she has that beloved college degree and all, and… well… but she is pretty damn hot, so maybe she’ll do porn?

The owner of an extremely small publishing company which specializes if very poorly written e-books (mostly pathetic short story collections) and even more poorly recorded YouTube videos, Crazy Lake Publishing, has made an offer to cast McHenry in a homemade porn video that will be shown on YouTube should she agree.

“The entire film would be pretty trashy and low budget,” Crazy Lake Publishing’s C.E.O., President, and soul employee, Mr. Kevin Lake told us at Consciously Enlightened when interviewed. “And all I could really afford to pay her would be half of whatever the YouTube views pulled in through Google Adsense, which is only about .80 cents per thousand views. I’d keep the other half, of course. Because, like, I’d have to be the male star, because I can’t afford to hire anyone, but I guess I wouldn’t mind doing it. But if it went viral, she might make about as much as the poor tow truck lady she cussed out makes.”

Lake admits the script is already written. “It’s pretty straight forward porn,” he says. “Like, I pull up in a tow truck to her broken down car. I get out, and I’m like, ‘I see your car’s broken down.’ And then she’s like, ‘I know. F*ck, me, right?’ Then we just kinda go at it on the hood of the broken down car. I already have the broken down car. It’s mine. I haven’t been able to get it fixed for about six months, because of the economy and all, so the scene’s already set. She’d just have to agree to it and all.”

Lake shared his handwritten script with us as well.

porn script

(And it’s easy to see why Crazy Lake Publishing is no Fortune 500 company).

Stay tuned to Consciously Enlightened for this breaking porn video, should Miss McHenry accept the offer from Crazy Lake Publishing.

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